Who says you can't serve your friends watered down, cheap wine and still be classy? Certainly not anyone we know! They're all too busy sipping on some sangria. That's right. This tasty wine-based concoction is just meant for cheapo, alcohol-lovin bums like you. So this Memorial Day when someone asks you to bring a beverage to the BBQ, whip up some sangria and prepare for the compliments.

Dear Cupid,

You suck, you heartless bum. No husband, no boyfriend, not even a decent one night stand this year. You know what? I'm done with you. This year, I'm Valentine-ing on my own. That's right, I'm taking MYSELF out for a hot date. And I'll bet I'm not the only one.

Life offers many occasions to celebrate, commiserate, or get toasty just because. Although the solo drink is sometimes appropriate, in general it's way more fun to drink with friends. We know footing the booze bill for a group can be expensive, so we're here to give you some pointers for doing it up bum-style.

Although many of us harbor bitterness toward the big 'ol V-Day, there are a few broke romantics still out there. Forgive the bad poetry, but it’s got to be done:

Chocolate and flowers,
cards and gifts,
use your RFB powers,
to make little shifts,
that’ll keep your lovers,
diving under the covers.

Like any good slasher film, so goes my love life: never is there a happy ending. Personally, I'm all about screaming "Die Cupid Die!" on the all too celebrated Valentine’s Day. So much so that I throw dinner parties with the same theme, and once even convinced a popular musician to paint the same phrase all over her shirt for a gig. Apparently, the crowd loved it. So with that in mind, get out your puffy paints and aprons as I present to you Little Brown Bag's version of DIE CUPID DIE! Yes, it's cheap. Just like those bastards you're going to invite.

Italians know food and deals. America, in its grand tradition of bastardizing cuisine, has embraced a budget-friendly version of Italian food. There is a wide variety of Italian cuisine and many potentially expensive ingredients. But we all know that isn't what you're going to serve your bum posse when they show up.