Two years ago I graduated from Emerson College, kissed my parents goodbye, and flew from the East Coast to the West, ready to flaunt my hard-earned college degree and extensive (college) resume in the faces of my new peers. The plan was generic: get job, work hard, rise through ranks, meet Matt Groeing, get hired to serve coffee on "Futurama," achieve life dream. I was prepared for sacrifice, and for coffee runs, and for small gigs in reality television. I was prepared. For work, that is. I forgot about life.
Whenever you get ready to move to a new place, you always ask where is the best place to live, or what resources you can use to get a job. It never occurs to you to ask if you should get a landline for your apartment, or which areas hand out parking tickets like candy on Halloween. To be fair, it never occurs to the people you ask to mention those things.
So here's a list, from me to you, of things everyone should have told you and didn't because, deep down, they want you to suffer too.
1. 911 Ain't Gonna Do JACK: Yes, that's poorly written hyperbole. It's also what I was thinking when the masked man with a voice box tried to break into my apartment while my roommate and I hid in the kitchen with deadly potato peelers and cell phones. See, if you have an out of district area code (like an 818 in a 213 area) and you dial 911, you will not be transferred to the emergency hotline. You will be put on hold to talk with someone in Highway Patrol. Because, if you have an out of district area code and you call 911, you're obviously calling to report a car accident.
Make sure you program the number to your local police station into your cell. Also, consider getting a landline, which WILL put you straight through to Emergency Dispatch if you dial 911.
2. Background Check the Background Checkers: You would be wise to keep your eyes open when dealing with any online rentals site, including the incredibly popular and often recommended Westside Rentals. Why? Because sites like Westside Rentals are merely middle men; they provide a patch of internet for landlords and realtors to list their properties but don't do background checks on the people who post. We had a situation with a leasing agent who turned out to be a scam artist; she had stolen applications and keys from the agency she was fired from and told applicants they could only pay via money order for "holding fees," which allowed her to make off with quite a lot of dough (before she was arrested, that is.)
This isn't common but it happens. Don't get freaked out; just listen to your gut. If a sketchy agent demands a money order (or worse, cash) for an apartment you really love, ask to speak to the landlord first. If s/he agrees, great, you're probably okay. If not, search elsewhere.
3. Save 1/8 of Your Monthly Income for Parking Tickets and Valets: LA will ticket you for ANYTHING. Meter expired by a minute? That's $35. Parked on a hill and your wheels aren't turned ENOUGH in the proper direction? You better believe that's fine-worthy. Want to avoid street-parking and potential tickets? Valet's $10 plus tip, cash only.
If LA is going to pave paradise, then put up the damn parking lot, not another Pinkberry. Parking in LA is hard to find and very rarely free. If you're going to be going to a lot of job interviews, make sure you ask where to park and if they validate. Many smaller production companies have street (aka, metered) parking or have a relationship with a parking garage. So, when you create your monthly budget (and by the way, you should) make sure you set aside some cash for parking reasons – it'll make your life a whole lot easier.
4. Splurge for a Rental Car: One day, you will crash your car. It may be into a lamp post, or some idiot on the freeway who though he could come to a complete stop in the middle lane (not bitter.) The worst feeling in the world is looking at the remaining heap of metal that used to be your baby and think, "how the hell am I going to get to work now?"
Your car is your passport to your life in LA. Public transportation here can only do so much (and that's not a lot) so it's worth double-checking with your insurance company and seeing if you can add "rental car" to your insurance package. You may pay more now but it's less than what you'll pay later.
5. No Safety, No Service, No Problem: I've had to move out of two different apartments to date: the first was the apartment with the break-in issue, the second had a leaking ceiling (and other problems) that didn't get fixed for over a month. Both times the landlord tried to screw me over by claiming I was breaking the lease. What they and I both knew was that I wasn't breaking the lease at all; I was ending it.
Surprise, surprise, tenants have rights. You have the right to a safe and hospitable home; if you have strong (and documented) reason to believe you are not being provided a safe, hospitable place to live, you can look into ending your lease. No landlord can force you to stay in a place where you don't feel safe (break-ins) or violates Civil Code 1942 (which, paraphrased, says a tenant can end the lease if a landlord doesn't make necessary, requested repairs after a reasonable amount of time). For more information, check out the California Tenants Handbook.
Republished with permission from Hollywood Ladder.
Liz Alper is an LA-based writer who works as a Producer's Assistant. Sometimes, she stage manages for the comedy group "Fries on the Side" (www.friesontheside.com) but only if they remind her. Her hobbies range from listening to the sound of her own voice to convincing others that "Treasure Planet" was a really good movie. If you would like to tell her how you agree completely, email her at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or tweet her (LizAlps).
