Any real bum knows the midnight munchies hit...hard. And when that happens, you should know that there is something you can do. Diet be damned. It’s time to hit up the kitchen and let your meagerly stocked shelves provide you with a brokedown feast.

Part one: Assess your prospects. Open the fridge and see. Got eggs? Butter? Milk? Stale bread or a package of tortillas? Perfect. Spend a few minutes rooting around your cupboards. Some QT with your pantry may just yield up edible cereal and left over peanut butter. And, whoa, can of tuna fish. We are so going to put you to use. Dig in a bit more. Is that a secret stash of cookies we spy? What's up, dessert.

Part Two: Use what you've got. Grab a pan, light a fire (or strike up that not-quite-legal burner in your dorm room/bachelor apt) and get to work. Crack open a couple of those bad boys directly into your hot-buttered pan and get to scrambling. Better yet, rip open those stolen hot sauce packets you got from the drive thru. Now they're just littering the pantry, but before you know it, you have deliciously spicy (read: exotic) huevos ready for late night consumption. Got neighbors? Knock on their door (if they're not scary) and tell 'em to join you. Also, ask them to bring toast. Ole!

Part Three: Keep it creative. Eyeing that stale bread you found? Nothing goes better with late-night breakfast eggs than some late night breakfast French toast. Same concept applies here: crack the eggs into a bowl, mix in a li'l milk and soak that bread. Hot buttered pan + soaky bread = delicious. Find something sweet to throw on top (yup, you can hit up that drive thru again) and cut those late night cravings down to size.

Part Four: Encourage diversity. Perhaps you're in the mood for something a bit more savory and filling? Two low on cash bums came up with the perfect diner-style dinner. Once more into the buttered pan with a tortilla. Then add some tasty fatty substance like cheese or avocado or both. Can you see where we're going with this? Grab that can of tuna, mix it with some of of those mayo/mustard/relish packets you pilfered from any number of fast food locations, as soon as the cheese is melty in the pan, drop some of that tasty mess on top and fold in half. Voila! A bastardized SoCal diner-style tuna melt! Cheaper than our favorite diner at the very least. And so much closer.

 

Part Five: Don't forget favorites. Cereal and milk is the old standby, we don't need to teach you how to make that one happen. Bowl, spoon, yum.

 

Part Six: Add sugar. Craving something just a tad bit sweeter for those late night (pre-hangover?) snack-attacks? Cookies + peanut butter=ooey-gooey heaven. And no clean up! Or, slop some peanut butter and whatever else sweet you find into the tortilla and enjoy a sweet wrap. Might sound weird at noon, but not at midnight!

 

So there you have it, 5 (or 6, who’s counting?) potential meals all hiding out in the depths of your kitchen. Who knew? We did, that's what we're here for. And hey, pull a signature bum move and invite friends over. And tell them to bring some stuff from their pantries to your impromptou late-night feast. Everyone loves a delicious party.